Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize