her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
whose parrot is this?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
