i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
