I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
