Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
