I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
