Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
