yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
