It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
