whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
