My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
