we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
