After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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