Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
