No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
