this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think a kid would responsible me up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
