I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
