He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
