smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
