Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
