yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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