Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
