Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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