After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
