I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
