nut hugger
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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