I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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