so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
