my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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