Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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