I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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