While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
