Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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