i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
