i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
