WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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