pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
