I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need help removing her.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
