The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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