i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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