I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
