if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
40s are totally the cure
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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