I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
