Your tits are I can't wait for
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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