I want to walk on stilts...naked
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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