But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
