He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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