MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
