she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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