you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
