Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
