she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
