i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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