so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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