Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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