I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
