I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize