Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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