On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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