Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
