Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
