Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
