dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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