Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
