That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
