She is in my trunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
