Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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