I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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