watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize